Red apples are NOT good apples to have (although I'm sure you're initial thought when you read this is that red apples are good and pretty tasty). The behavioral system set in place at his preschool is as follows: green apple (good), yellow apple (warning), red apple (not good). When my son gets a red apple he gets a spanking (yes we discipline) and no TV. This is devastating at our house.
No one likes to discipline their child, (especially if they haven't seen them all day)...and I felt bad for him because he knew what was coming when we got home. He has gotten a few red apples in his lifetime...(gasp, a son of 2 teachers, no less)...but, this time was different.
This particular day, his afternoon teacher came up to me to tell me that the morning teacher (who put him on red) doesn't want him to have a spanking. My initial thought was (what a relief) but then I worried about the consistency of our behavior rules. I know he didn't just get a red apple for playing on the carpet...I am sure by the time he had to switch his apple to red he probably had 10 warnings and the teacher had had enough. But, why would she say not to discipline at home? I thought it was weird because she'd never asked us that before. So, we told our son the teacher told us not to spank him. He was relieved but didn't ask why and we weren't sure if we did the right thing as far as being consistent goes. Oh, parenting is so hard!
The very next day my husband came home and told me when he saw the morning teacher (the hubs drops him off at preschool and talks to her in the morning) and that she had said: "Your son asked me after he turned his red apple if Jesus was going to be mad at him."
WOW. So that is why she didn't want us to spank him.
You see this is a phenomenal step in our family. #1, my husband told me. #2, he didn't have an issue with it. #3, I didn't get reprimanded for teaching this to him.
I have said before in my previous posts that my husband is very supportive of my relationship with God. But, he is not supportive of anything that has to do with God being "taught" to our son (by me). My husband is OK with prayer (he won't bow his head but me and my son do) when we eat. He is OK with me taking my son to church or my mom taking my son and having other people teach him about God. But, he does not want me to. I know it's weird, but true. It leaves me in a predicament...how can I not teach him the TRUTH? My husband and I have had many talks about what we want for our son. My husband believes if one of us "pours out" our beliefs on him that it will be like "brainwashing," which in turn may hinder his decision making process because he is so young. My husband and I have agreed that we want our son to be able to choose. But if I don't give him choices (like learning about God), how is he going to be able to choose?
In the very beginning of my spiritual journey it was very hard for me to convince my husband to let my son go to church...or even buy him a Bible (that was a huge argument between us). But eventually, he has seen how much our son loves to go to church and he actually let me buy him a Bible (but he won't read it to our son). So, we've come a long way. And the fact that my son felt convicted...not to his parents...but to God. I wonder if that was eye-opening for my husband? Or eye-rollling?
But back to what my son said..."Will Jesus be mad at me?" I have only had brief discussions with my son about God and sinning. And he didn't call it sinning. But he wanted to please God. Not just his parents, not just his teachers, not himself, but God.
I think to myself...he is a child with so much conviction...where's mine at? When I am in "trouble" or do things I know I am not supposed to do, do I wonder if "Jesus will be mad at me?" Do I think about how my actions reflect my relationship with God?
For example:
Am I quick to listen to the latest gossip in the lunch room? Even if I don't spread it, I am just as guilty as listening to it. Learned my lesson the hard way about that one.
*Rumors are dainty morsels that sink deep into one’s heart. Proverbs 18:8.
Do I watch movies and TV shows...or read books that are not pleasing to our Father? The ways of the world are hard to break.
*Don’t you realize that friendship with the world makes you an enemy of God? I say it again: If you want to be a friend of the world, you make yourself an enemy of God. James 4:4
Am I quick to anger or jump to conclusions or have a short temper too often? Do I blame it on lack of sleep and stress? Absolutely.
*Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. James 1:19-20
Do I do things I know I am not supposed to do?
And if I do things I know I am not supposed to do...do I at least think: WWJD? (And you know what that means).
My child's thoughts have got me thinking about my life...my ways...my sins...my repentance.
I would like to ask a favor...that you please say a prayer for me; to be a parent that God wants me to be, to do everything in my power to bring up my child in the way God wants me to.
I have learned something through this "red apple experience"-that even when I don't think my 4 year old listens or understands what I am saying...God knows my intentions and can speak to my child in ways I will never be able to comprehend. I have also learned that whatever I say and whatever I do...my son is watching...so I need to make sure I do it right the first time...for him and for God.
If you have children of your own, my prayer is that you strive to be the parent(s) God wants you to be. And if you don't, strive to be the person God wants you to be. Be convicted.
Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.
James 4:17
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