Love a Veteran

I have been fortunate enough to live, serve, and work in a military community.  I teach students whose fathers or mothers serve locally and overseas (on deployment).  I've witnessed first hand the toll a deployment can take on a family-on the kids, the spouse, and the deployed serviceman.  

In fact, my husband used to be in the military.  When my husband and I were engaged in 2004, he was deployed to Iraq for about 5 months.  Of course, 5 months to me seemed like an eternity and I struggled often times wondering about his safety and missing him terribly.  I think about the students I teach, whose parents go away for years at a time. Being a parent myself now I can feel how hard it must be for these kids and their families.  My heart sincerely aches for them.  Not only are their parents deployed for months, sometimes years at a time...but they are also moved from place to place periodically.  I have also seen the devastating effects of war-I have been close to families who have lost loved ones in the war and ones who have lost limbs.  Some military servicemen who are no longer serving still fight their own war in some way-whether mental or physical-effects that they cannot control.

Veteran's Day is Monday and I've been thinking a lot about our military.  My church is doing a Bible Study in small groups and a sermon series on Rick Warren's "40 Days in the Word."  In our small group, we had a "Micah 6:8" assignment to get involved in the community.  Our small group chose to go to the local Veteran's Hospital and visit the Veteran's during the holidays, bringing a small gift of socks to keep their feet warm.  We were told that some of the Veterans in this hospital don't have family that live close by and that some have no one to come visit them.  This really saddened me.  For a few reasons.
1. Because, the reason I was able to vote last week was because of a Veteran who fought to save that right (and many more) for me. 
2. I can go to church, write this blog, and work a job because of the Veterans and our current military that have served in war zones, risking their lives to protect my rights for these freedoms.  Some of them have lost their lives.
3.  I feel there are a lot of  "thank yous" to our military and veterans but no actions.  

Why do we have Veterans sitting in a hospital with no visitors?  No one to pray over them, talk to them, show them they care, or show their appreciation?  

I am not one to get on my soapbox about elections and so forth and I'm sure you've heard enough but...does it bother anyone else that our candidates for presidency did not serve in the military whatsoever?  I would like to think that someone who is "the head" or "the boss" of the military (if you will) of the United States of America...a country founded on freedom and has waged many wars...should know what it is like to be on the battlegrounds.  Not just know somebody who is.  That's just my thought.

But back to the Veterans...I just want to say that I hope on Veteran's day that you will join me in praying for our current military and for the Veterans.  Pray for our elected officials.  Pray hard for those who are currently deployed.  Make sure that you thank a Veteran...visit a Veteran...love a Veteran...but not just Monday because its Veteran's Day...but anytime you meet one or see one.  Say "thank you" to our veterans through your actions (visit a VA hospital or support the VFW).  Because their sacrifices over the span of America's history are part of the reason we have the freedom to live, laugh, and love.  

We are so lucky to have a loving God, who knew us before we were formed in our mother's womb-who created people who were strong enough to fight, serve, protect, and sacrifice for others.  When I think of serving others, I think of Veterans and I realize-what an ultimate sacrifice to risk your own life...

I also think of Jesus, who not only risked his life, but who died to save us from our sins.  

Our military have fought and are still fighting to create peace and save the rights for us to choose how we live our life.  

Are we living our lives in appreciation for those that make it possible?  Do our actions speak louder than our words? 

No, the LORD has told us what is good. What he requires of us is this: to do what is just, to show constant love, and to live in humble fellowship with our God. 

Micah 6:8

I hear voices...

I hear voices...and no I'm not crazy (I think)!

I really mean it-I hear voices.  And these voices are coming to me most of the time when I make a decision to SIN.  Yes, I said it.  A DECISION to sin.

It goes like this:
Person: "Blah, Blah, Blah...gossip, gossip, gossip."
Me: "Blah, Blah-*insert voice in my head saying 'you know better' & quick decision to continue*.....gossip, gossip, gossip"

And folks, it just isn't when I'm tempted to gossip.
This voice comes to me:
1. When I wake up ("Oh, good morning, checking facebook before your devotional?")
2. On my way to work ("Oh, you have a lot to do? Too much on your mind?  Hard day ahead?  Turn down your music and pray.")
4. When I'm listening to others complain ("Tell them it could be worse.  Give them a different point of view").

You know where I'm getting at.  This ain't your ordinary angel/devil on the shoulder talking. It's the Holy Spirit.  And here lately I've noticed that when I'm tempted... He's right there giving ME advice and guiding ME through my day.

Everyday I'm faced with decisions.  From the time I wake up (what's for breakfast?) until the time I come home from work (what's for dinner? what do I need to clean, do, etc.?).  I decide what comes out of my mouth (is it kind? necessary?).  I decide my actions.  I also decide how I'm going to react to what I hear.   

I ultimately decide if I am going to let sin control me or if I am going to let Jesus guide me.

The decisions I make are not always the right ones.  Sometimes my actions are influenced by the good decision I make when I hear that voice.  What does that mean? Why???

I truly feel the more in the Word you are (aka: reading your bible, having more quiet time with God, etc.) that you will feel His presence more deeply.  The more you know and ponder on what you've learned from scripture can lead you to make (good, better, the best) decisions that before you felt had no choice.  You go from the mentality of "Oh, I'm just a 'talker'-I've always been.  I can't help it when I gossip"...to... "Is what I am about to say helpful? Is it necessary?  Is it kind?"

Do you hear voices?  

I know what is GOOD.  I know what is BAD.  I also know what is GODLY.  

What decisions are you making that impact your relationship with God? 

In this month of THANKSGIVING, I'm going to admit that I'm thankful for the voices in my head.  They make me see the straight path ahead.  Because without God's guidance, I'm clearly lost.  

I want you to prayerfully consider your week(end) ahead.  What choices will you face?  Will you CHOOSE God's way or another way?  Because, friends, in the end, there is only ONE way.  Amen?  Amen!

Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.

Hebrews 10:36   

Be careful that you do not refuse to listen to the One who is speaking. For if the people of Israel did not escape when they refused to listen to Moses, the earthly messenger, we will certainly not escape if we reject the One who speaks to us from heaven!

Hebrews 12:25

Forgiveness

I know...it's been awhile.  Rather than a catchy title, which is how I usually title my posts to peak interest, I decided that I would just title this post on the meat of the subject...FORGIVENESS.  

I used to hear this word and say "oh yeah I forgive."  But even now, when I still see that person that I've had issues with in the past-and I am consciously and verbally still hatin'-that's not really true forgiveness.  There is a difference between removing it (the person, situation) from your life and forgetting and actual forgiveness and letting it go.

My first question to you is: What are you holding on to?

Right now I'm holding on to a few things in my life. Some of them deal with ongoing issues that stemmed from when I was younger...some are fresh and work-related and I'm trying really hard to find that forgiveness in my heart.  I'm struggling right now.  Mostly because my feelings were hurt in this situation and it's hard; I try so hard to live the life that God intended for me to live.

Tonight when I was at church we were singing "Hosanna"-the lyrics go like this:

"Take my heart and make it clean.
Open up my eyes to the things unseen.
Show me how to love like YOU have loved me.
Break my heart for what breaks yours.
Everything I am for your Kingdom's cause
As I walk from Earth into eternity."

My waterworks started coming down and I couldn't control them.  I scrambled to find a napkin or tissue because I didn't want anyone to see me crying. I guess I didn't want anyone to ask me if I was OK.  I was able to dry it up to cover my guilt...and I realized at that moment that God had laid it on my heart that I needed to start being more forgiving.  

True Forgiveness.  How can I explain to you what it means for God to truly forgive?  I can explain it only in the best way I know how: its like when your husband (or your wife, or your parent, or your child) does or says something really dumb or possibly hurtful and you are able to still love him (or her) anyway and let it go.  And forget it.  

God truly forgives me.  Sincerely.  He loves me anyway and He lets it go...  

Sometimes, for me, the "letting go" part is hard.

Ever held a grudge?  It's easy to forget about the pain people have put you through if you never see them...but its very painful when you do and you truly haven't made peace with them in your heart.

My second question to you is: What are you (and I) going to do about it?

Whomever hurt me in the past, whatever process I am going through to forgive them means "letting go."  You can't hold a grudge and let go at the same time.  It's easy to say forgive.  I realize I am still working on the process of forgiving...but I also KNOW God has no trouble forgiving when I come to him.  As I strive to be more Christ-like, I am learning that forgiveness means leaving it to God (to ultimately deal with that person or situation), loving to matter what (even if it hurts and is hard to do-because it is), leaning on God to guide you through the process, and then letting go.  Be free.  

I don't know where you are in the forgiveness process in your life.  But, I know that God's forgiveness has changed my life completely.  I can't let God forgive me and then turn my back on forgiving others.  

So this is what I'm working on: FORGIVENESS.  Anybody with me?

Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.  Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

Ephesians 4:31-32

 

A Child's Thoughts

A couple of weeks ago I went to pick my son up from preschool and as soon as I walked in the door he said "Mommy, I'm sorry."  I said "What happened?"  He said, "I got a red apple because I was playing on the carpet."  
Red apples are NOT good apples to have (although I'm sure you're initial thought when you read this is that red apples are good and pretty tasty).  The behavioral system set in place at his preschool is as follows: green apple (good), yellow apple (warning), red apple (not good).  When my son gets a red apple he gets a spanking (yes we discipline) and no TV.  This is devastating at our house.  
No one likes to discipline their child, (especially if they haven't seen them all day)...and I felt bad for him because he knew what was coming when we got home.  He has gotten a few red apples in his lifetime...(gasp, a son of 2 teachers, no less)...but, this time was different.
This particular day, his afternoon teacher came up to me to tell me that the morning teacher (who put him on red) doesn't want him to have a spanking.  My initial thought was (what a relief) but then I worried about the consistency of our behavior rules.  I know he didn't just get a red apple for playing on the carpet...I am sure by the time he had to switch his apple to red he probably had 10 warnings and the teacher had had enough.  But, why would she say not to discipline at home?  I thought it was weird because she'd never asked us that before.  So, we told our son the teacher told us not to spank him.  He was relieved but didn't ask why and we weren't sure if we did the right thing as far as being consistent goes.  Oh, parenting is so hard!
The very next day my husband came home and told me when he saw the morning teacher (the hubs drops him off at preschool and talks to her in the morning) and that she had said: "Your son asked me after he turned his red apple if Jesus was going to be mad at him."  
WOW.  So that is why she didn't want us to spank him.
You see this is a phenomenal step in our family.  #1, my husband told me.  #2, he didn't have an issue with it.  #3, I didn't get reprimanded for teaching this to him.  
I have said before in my previous posts that my husband is very supportive of my relationship with God.  But, he is not supportive of anything that has to do with God being "taught" to our son (by me).  My husband is OK with prayer (he won't bow his head but me and my son do) when we eat.  He is OK with me taking my son to church or my mom taking my son and having other people teach him about God.  But, he does not want me to.  I know it's weird, but true.  It leaves me in a predicament...how can I not teach him the TRUTH?  My husband and I have had many talks about what we want for our son.  My husband believes if one of us "pours out" our beliefs on him that it will be like "brainwashing," which in turn may hinder his decision making process because he is so young.  My husband and I have agreed that we want our son to be able to choose. But if I don't give him choices (like learning about God), how is he going to be able to choose? 
In the very beginning of my spiritual journey it was very hard for me to convince my husband to let my son go to church...or even buy him a Bible (that was a huge argument between us).  But eventually, he has seen how much our son loves to go to church and he actually let me buy him a Bible (but he won't read it to our son).  So, we've come a long way.  And the fact that my son felt convicted...not to his parents...but to God.  I wonder if that was eye-opening for my husband?  Or eye-rollling?
But back to what my son said..."Will Jesus be mad at me?"  I have only had brief discussions with my son about God and sinning.  And he didn't call it sinning.  But he wanted to please God.  Not just his parents, not just his teachers, not himself, but God.    
I think to myself...he is a child with so much conviction...where's mine at?  When I am in "trouble" or do things I know I am not supposed to do, do I wonder if "Jesus will be mad at me?"  Do I think about how my actions reflect my relationship with God?  

For example:
Am I quick to listen to the latest gossip in the lunch room?  Even if I don't spread it, I am just as guilty as listening to it.  Learned my lesson the hard way about that one. 
*Rumors are dainty morsels that sink deep into one’s heart. Proverbs 18:8.

Do I watch movies and TV shows...or read books that are not pleasing to our Father?  The ways of the world are hard to break.
*Don’t you realize that friendship with the world makes you an enemy of God? I say it again: If you want to be a friend of the world, you make yourself an enemy of God. James 4:4

Am I quick to anger or jump to conclusions or have a short temper too often?  Do I blame it on lack of sleep and stress? Absolutely.
*Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.  James 1:19-20

Do I do things I know I am not supposed to do?  
And if I do things I know I am not supposed to do...do I at least think: WWJD?  (And you know what that means).

My child's thoughts have got me thinking about my life...my ways...my sins...my repentance.  
I would like to ask a favor...that you please say a prayer for me; to be a parent that God wants me to be, to do everything in my power to bring up my child in the way God wants me to.  

I have learned something through this "red apple experience"-that even when I don't think my 4 year old listens or understands what I am saying...God knows my intentions and can speak to my child in ways I will never be able to comprehend.  I have also learned that whatever I say and whatever I do...my son is watching...so I need to make sure I do it right the first time...for him and for God.  

If you have children of your own, my prayer is that you strive to be the parent(s) God wants you to be.  And if you don't, strive to be the person God wants you to be.  Be convicted.

Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.  

James 4:17

Take a POWERFUL listen...

I heard this song on the way to work this morning.  It brought me to tears and as soon as I got to school I looked it up on YouTube to listen to it again before the kids came in.  One of my co-workers came into my classroom and said "Gettin' your Jesus on this morning?"  

Absolutely!

Who cannot relate to this song?  I wanted to share it with you!

Take a powerful listen!

"Redeemed"

Seems like all I could see was the struggle
Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past
Bound up in shackles of all my failures
Wondering how long is this gonna last
Then You look at this prisoner and say to me "son
Stop fighting a fight it's already been won"

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be
I am redeemed, I'm redeemed

All my life I have been called unworthy
Named by the voice of my shame and regret
But when I hear You whisper, "Child lift up your head"
I remember, oh God, You're not done with me yet

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be

Because I don't have to be the old man inside of me
'Cause his day is long dead and gone
Because I've got a new name, a new life, I'm not the same
And a hope that will carry me home

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, 'cause I'm not who I used to be

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe every stain, yeah, I'm not who I used to be
Oh, God, I'm not who I used to be
Jesus, I'm not who I used to be
'Cause I am redeemed
Thank God, redeemed

Overwhelmed but Overcame

So let's just say September is not my month!  We've had lots of meetings at school this month.  It just seems like one deadline after another.  I am so thankful for my job-but stressing over the little things.  And of course, big things always happen in the midst of little ones!  Last week I was what you call "done."  OVERWHELMED.  Luckily, the family and I had a great weekend.  We were in the Turkey Parade (all on floats) on Thursday and then Saturday we were up early for the Turkey Festival.  I love festivals-vendors, crafts, music-lots of fun!  Then we went to spend some time with friends who invited us over for dinner.  We also got to see Nemo in 3D, which was cute, and (gasp) I've never seen Nemo.  Then Monday hit and again...I'm thinking deadlines, meetings, lessons...even with my "planner" organization skills, I have been absolutely behind.  I know some of the new teachers have already thrown their hands up.  I mean, what can you do?  

This morning I got up for my usual breakfast and devotion.  I timed myself at 3 minutes to read and hopped on Facebook (bad habit).  At the beginning of school I was doing a really great job of getting up early to have plenty of time to eat, read, reflect, and pray.  I haven't been taking that time lately.  I have been sleeping in and "saving" my prayer for my quiet ride to work in the car-which isn't a very long commute.  And here lately that "quiet prayer time" turned into thinking about what I needed to do today and the emails I needed to make.  
Well, when my first student arrived in the classroom, she said "I brought you something."  She plopped down a copy of "Daily Bread" (a devotion book).  She said "I have 2 copies.  One for me and one for you."  I was thinking...I wonder if the parent (who is a Christian) sent this with her for me.  I wonder if she knows I am a Christian. 
You see, there is a fine line in public schools that is hard to cross.  It is hard for me not to profess my Faith and I really want to badly. I want to tell all my parents I am a Christian.  I want to share it with all my students.  But I can't. But God worked through this 5 year old little girl  and I realized something today: Could my "cheating" God out of our time together be the reason I am so overwhelmed?  Absolutely.  What have I done to myself?  I have been so focused on work, routines, family stuff, etc. that I left out the most important thing in my life-time with God.  I NEED that time with him-to reflect, praise, pray...I miss Him.  And most importantly, I am ashamed of my priorities at this point.  I am so thankful for a forgiving God.  Every time. And it took my little Kinder bringing me a devotion to realize this! 
And at the end of today, I was on my way to pick my son up and I heard a song on the radio. It is a song we sing at church but it held a new meaning today.  
The lyrics are: 

All authority, every victory is Yours

Savior, worthy of honor and glory, worthy of all our praise, You overcame
Jesus, awesome in power forever, awesome and great is Your name, You overcame

Power in hand speaking the Father's plan
You're sending us out, light in this broken land

We will overcome by the blood of the Lamb
And the word of our testimony, everyone overcome


Every VICTORY-give praise.  He is WORTHY of our praise-and OUR TIME.  

Reflecting on today, I am reminded that I have been sent to share my testimony (which is why I am writing these posts and sharing each and every little story-victories and all). I am also reminded that God loves me so much that he overcame (for me).  

With all the agendas, plans, and the craziness of life...
I was overwhelmed but I have overcame. Thank you, God!

My hope for today is that you take some time to reflect on how you can spend extra time with God...building your relationship with Him.  Before work?  During your lunch break?  After the kids are in bed?  It is not something to "check off your list" but something to be "permanently scheduled."

For God saved us and called us to live a holy life. He did this, not because we deserved it, but because that was his plan from before the beginning of time—to show us his grace through Christ Jesus. 
2 Timothy 1:9

Go Ahead and Judge Me

It's hard not to judge someone.  I automatically judge someone when I meet them (first impression). I judge people when I see them at church (Wow that lady has 5 kids? She wore that?).  "People-watching" is my specialty.  The Bible says we shouldn't judge or criticize others.  I am still working on that.  So, why do we judge others?  Is it because we are looking for a reason to say, "I am better than this person"?  I don't know about you... but...I am still looking around for perfect people to look up to...and its hard for me not to judge or criticize others (especially those who say they are Christians) when they say one thing but do another.  I think this is what turns so many people off from having a relationship with God.  

When I first became a Christian I was still learning "how" to follow God.  I attended small groups to get to know people so I could see what their "perfect" life was like.  I got really confused because everyone I met seemed basically the same as me.  Not until just recently did I realize how human we really are...how imperfect we really are.  It took a lot of prayer, bible reading, and God's help to understand.  

If you want to have a relationship with God...looking at people is not going to help you.  Reading the word...that's what will do it.  Because people are broken.  No one is perfect.  Part of the reason I was so "cut off" from church for a long time had to do with disappointment from people in the church.  Things they've said, hurt they've caused.  How can you be a Christian if you are not perfect?  Well friends, I'll tell you...the difference between a Christian and someone who's not is a little bit of FAITH, a lot of forgiven imperfections, and believing the truth will set you free. Do I know everything there is to know about God?  Nope, still learning.  Do I sin? Yes, everyday.  

But God will judge me one day so I don't really need you to.  

I do, however, on a daily basis feel judged by people (friends, colleagues, even my husband-and believe me if anyone is going to hold you accountable for what you say and do its going to be a non-believing spouse)!  But I think they are still trying to figure me out.  They are trying to find someway to see me fail so they can find my imperfections.  That is OK with me.  I am not really the same person I once was.  (I once was lost, but now I'm found).  Since becoming a Christian, I am more worried about what God thinks of my words and actions.  I try my best to please Him.  And can I tell you how relieving it is to not worry about what other people think??? This has changed my life completely.  
At work I have these verses posted near my computer:

• Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.  Colossians 3:23
• Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before. Then people who are not Christians will respect the way you live, and you will not need to depend on others. 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12  
• And may the Lord our God show us his approval and make our efforts successful. Yes, make our efforts successful!  Psalm 90:17

I hope that God has transformed me into someone you can look up to.  I hope you feel comfortable enough to talk to me about your life.  I hope that I can help you see the changes God has made in me.  
My goal everyday is to say and do things that glorify God.  So that you may see some glimmer of hope that was not once there before.  To share with you what I know to be true and strive to be more Christ-like everyday!

People say "I don't want to go to church because people are fake.  They party on Friday and Saturday and say a prayer on Sunday and act like they are a Christian."  Well I say, come to church!  It's full of sinners...thank God!  That means no one is perfect...and we can be around people just like us.  What a perfect place to be!    

I want God to be my ultimate judge...go ahead and judge me God!  Make me realize my imperfections and help me to become more Christ-like in everything I say and do!  

Don’t speak evil against each other, dear brothers and sisters. If you criticize and judge each other, then you are criticizing and judging God’s law. But your job is to obey the law, not to judge whether it applies to you.  God alone, who gave the law, is the Judge. He alone has the power to save or to destroy. So what right do you have to judge your neighbor?

James 4:11-12

Martha or Mary?

So in the last couple weeks I have been one busy lady.  So busy, in fact, that I have failed you and I am convicted to tell you about it.  In my last post I talked about being grateful for your season.  Well, I think I have been anything but that for the past week!  As you know, school started back up.  I was excited to see everyone again, get my classroom set up, etc. After weeks of preparation, guess what happened?  On Open House night, my computer wasn't working!  I got so mad because I had some work to do...the next day (notice I said the next day and not right away-because we always want what we want when we want it) I complained: Why have technology if it's not going to work?  What if I hadn't planned and needed my computer for open house?  I am not going to be able to get my other work completed tomorrow if my computer doesn't work today which means I will have to do it over the weekend....and on and on and on.  Then it hit me...is this not something that I JUST wrote about...being thankful no matter what the circumstances are.  I didn't need the computer/printer to work right away, I had PLANNED so it wasn't like it was going to be a big deal but it still irritated me.  I wasn't thankful.  But you know what happened?  The computer man that fixes our computers was all the way across town and came back to the school (he had already been there that morning) to fix my computer in a matter of hours.  So I wanted to tell you that...and just know that I am not perfect...but I have a perfect God that loves me anyway and will take care of whatever need or worry I may have!  

Also, you know that mommy season? The one that includes cleaning house, being the best mommy I can be...etc.?  Yep, failed that too.  Getting all caught up in work, neglecting what needs to be done at home, so tired to be there for my family...you name it I did it this week!  I am so glad I am writing these posts because it helps me be accountable for my actions and think...am I really living the way God wants me to live?  Am I giving him the glory no matter the circumstance?  So as I was cleaning this week...I griped a little and procrastinated...but I turned it right around and vacuumed with this in my head (and heart): "This is my season.  Thank you Lord for this time to vacuum and glorify you.  Thank you for a home and a family.  Thank you for my health. Thank you for this season."

Cleaning really gets me every time (with dread and complaints).  But, I love a clean home and as mom says "to be clean one must clean" (seriously she says that all the time).  As I was cleaning this week I thought about the story of Martha and Mary.  You can read it in Luke 10:38-42. In these verses, it talks about how Martha is so busy cooking (and cleaning and preparing and planning) that she gets frustrated when she sees her sister Mary at Jesus' feet.  Mary is enjoying Jesus' company.  Martha is too busy with the details...too busy to just sit and enjoy Jesus.  So my question is...who are you more like-Martha or Mary?  Are you-like me-sometimes "too busy" with something that can wait?  Like when my son says "mommy will you watch a movie with me?" or "mommy will you play cars with me?"-which by the way were 2 things he asked me to do yesterday but I was too "busy" to do.  Are you "too busy" or "too tired because of being busy" that you have neglected in some way to read God's word and meditate on it everyday (guilty, here)?  Again I say, are you like Martha?    

OR, are you like Mary?  Do you relish in each moment and desire to please him in every way?  Do you listen to God when he's talking?  

I think it is OK to be like Martha (because trust me, she was getting it done-if they were going to eat someone had to cook it).  But I think that Martha neglected to see what was in front of her-Jesus-because she was SO BUSY. My prayer for you this week is that you become aware of how you are spending your time and delegating your energy.  I made myself a promise a long time ago that family would come before work and God first always.  So I'm changing some priorities, that were squashed by the first week of school, and starting over...I hope you will join me-at Jesus' feet-like Mary.  I also want to share with you that there is a book I can't wait to read and its called: "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World" by Joanna Weaver.  If you read it or have read it, please let me know how it was!

So...are you going to be Martha or Mary this week?  One day you might feel like a Martha...but don't be discouraged-and don't forget about Mary.  I hope you prayerfully listen to what God has to say and if you need to-save "your work" for later! 

So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. 

At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.

Galatians 6:9

Seasons

Winter, Summer, Fall, Spring.  My favorite is coming up-Fall.  I love it: football, cooler weather, Halloween, Thanksgiving.  It is an awesome time to be a teacher too.  Beginning of the year, new kids, new school supplies (and I love school supplies)!

But the seasons that I am referring to are the seasons in our life.  What season are you in?  Are you a new mother or are you retired?  Do you have kids in college or did you just find out you were having a grandchild?  Maybe you are a new christian or newly divorced?  Seasons.  Whatever season you are in, God has planned that for you in this time, right now.  You know the saying: "Everything happens for a reason?"  Well really, "Everything happens because God designed it."  His plan, His season, for YOU.

I think about my "season" all the time.  Sometimes I think I am the only person in my season.  Like, am I the only one who has a four year old and works full time?  (NO!)  We are working all the time, paying the bills, relishing the short weekends and time together.  I find myself complaining-a lot.  And then I remember that God chose this season for me. 

It's a happy one.  I have a healthy, happy little boy who is extremely smart and funny.  My husband and I both have a wonderful relationship and we both have jobs.  We have a home and food on the table.  Nothing is perfect...but...

WHAT am I complaining about???

In my previous post, I talked a lot about this work-related anxiety disorder that I had.  When I chose my walk with God, my whole way of thinking changed.  When people started complaining at work-about the copier not working OR having to go to another meeting OR (the list goes on) all I could think about was-at least we have a copier, at least I am not sick and am able to go to the meeting, at least I have a job.  God has given me these things to APPRECIATE because He loves me.  And this isn't just work, its in my family life too.

I could complain there is nothing to watch on television...but at least I have a TV and money to pay for the service.

I could complain it is raining outside....or be happy that crops are growing so I can buy them at the store.

I could complain about doing laundry...but at least I have a family I can take care of AND I don't have to go to a laundry mat.

I could complain I am having a bad hair day...but at least I don't have to wear a wig because of cancer treatment.

I could complain of my "season" of being a mommy....how tired I am from working and then coming home, cleaning up, etc. etc.  But....look at the memories I can choose to make with my family.  Look at the lifetime of happiness that God has given me!

There are different seasons for everyone and different types of "seasoning." Think about the type of "seasoning' you can put on a steak or a breast of chicken.  It can make it taste better, right?  Well, maybe sometimes we need to add a little "seasoning" of our own to our life.  Kick it up a notch.  Start being thankful, more positive-and give God the glory that we are living to be in this SEASON right now!

What is your season?   

How can I help you give glory to God in the season you are in?

For everything there is a season, 

a time for every activity under heaven. 

A time to be born and a time to die.

A time to plant and a time to harvest.

A time to kill and a time to heal.

A time to tear down and a time to build up.

A time to cry and a time to laugh.

A time to grieve and a time to dance.

A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.

A time to embrace and a time to turn away.

A time to search and a time to quit searching.

A time to keep and a time to throw away.

A time to tear and a time to mend.

A time to be quiet and a time to speak.

A time to love and a time to hate.

A time for war and a time for peace.

What do people really get for all their hard work?

I have seen the burden God has placed on us all.

 Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.

So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. 

Ecclesiastes 3:1-12

Life Plans

After I graduated High School, I had a set of goals.  
Here they are (tell me you've had similar ones):
1. Graduate College
2. Get a job
3. Get married
4. Have a baby
These were my life's aspirations.  There is nothing wrong with these goals. You see, amongst this list is a plethora of amazing experiences, unforgettable memories, and opportunities to learn (and to still learn from).
  
I am a Planner.

I want things to go into accordance with MY life plan, my goals, my dreams, wishes, and MY aspirations.  I am by nature a planner, organizer, ON-TOP-of-things kind of lady.  I got it honest (love you mom)!

Let's start from the beginning...#1 on my list.  There was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to attend college.  There was no doubt I wanted to be a teacher.  I knew it from an early age (like 9 I think-mom said I used to line up the baby dolls and teach them in my room).  I had a love for children and a drive to succeed.  I met my husband when I was in college, we got married before I graduated, and I accepted a job right before graduation.  #'s 1, 2, and 3 knocked off my list in two years.  I was OK waiting on # 4.  In the meantime, I dipped into my career and people pleased my way through each day.  And I loved it. LOVED.  
#4 came about 3 years later.  And it was hard.  No sugar coating.  Around this time I think life happened for me.  And what I mean by life is God stepped in.

You see, I loved my marriage, my job, my baby.  I loved my life.  After # 4 I had already met my goals.  It's kind of like when you are dating someone and people say "When are you getting married?" You are no longer finished cutting your wedding cake when someone whispers "When are you having a baby?"  And you haven't given birth to your first child when they want to know when the next one is coming.  I am just like "I am trying to get through the first one."  And then what?  What's next?  Yes, the planner was at the point in her life where she had nothing left to plan for.  

The year after my son turned one was a terrible year for me at work.  I had a rough crop of kids but I had lots of parent support.  I don't know if it was still getting used to being a first time mom or the fact that my job was becoming complacent but I couldn't get out of bed.  Seriously, I had depression.  And honestly this went on for quite some time.  One day I was at the doctor's office for my annual check up and I started crying-sobbing about my life circumstances (you know those life goals, aspirations, etc. I so eagerly planned?)
He referred me to a psychologist who originally diagnosed me with postpartum depression (apparently you can be diagnosed with this up to two years after your child is born).  They gave me some medicine and asked me to keep coming back for follow up appointments.  Before this diagnosis I thought people who were depressed were crazy.  I thought people who needed medicine were crazy.  I then labeled myself as crazy.  Some days were bad, I could hardly get out of the bed to take care of my busy one year old.  My husband was a huge help.  He really wanted me to get better so he did everything he possibly could to make that happen.  I didn't really feel like I had those symptoms postpartum mothers said they experienced.  But seriously, I needed help and the medicine wasn't cutting it.  I tried to make changes at work, tried to ask to be moved to a different grade level to change my "situation."  After going to 2 psychologists, I was finally diagnosed with a work-related anxiety disorder (not postpartum depression).  Hold up!  Let's go back to my plan.  Not loving my job was not on the list.  Remember, teaching was my life calling.  Or so I thought.  I tried to make changes around me.  But little did I realize what really needed to be changed was me.

God's Plan for My Life

You see, I married as a non-christian.  Yes, I had been to church, "walked the walk" as so they say.  And so had my husband.  We barely talked about religion before we were married and didn't make it part of our daily life.  As our marriage began to grow and evolve, (tough times in the beginning) God was there for me.  And he's still working on my husband.  He's a whole other post, though.  He's an amazing man, husband, and father and God put us together for a reason.  
Anyway, my husband will not be shy to tell you he is not a believer.  In fact, one of the first couple of years we taught (at the same school), a lady who worked with us was talking to my husband and asked him what church he went to.  He told her he was a non-believer.  Well the very next day this wonderful lady brought him a mug with a card in it for her church.  He dismissed it, but we kept the mug and didn't think much else about it.  After my son was born, my mom prompted me into checking out a church.  I immediately thought of the card and the mug and we decided to try that church first.
So I went with my mom on our first visit.  I wasn't really moved or ready for the "church thing."  I didn't visit the church again until 2 years later, after my anxiety diagnosis. The second time I visited the same church, my wonderful mom came for a visit and I asked her if she would go with me again.  I wanted to see how they did childcare in case I wanted to take my son.  I never planned on going "much" or talking to anyone.  But I needed something and my soul was searching.  After I went to the church with my mom on the second visit, I had enough courage to try it on my own.  So every Sunday, I sat 2 rows back (as to not be distracted by the people in front of me-too many heads and babies) and carried my son with me and I prayed...and I worshipped...and the music moved me...and the Holy Spirit took over me.  God changed me.  

After I had been going to the church about 6 months I made some subtle life style changes.  I was still a baby christian in need of guidance and love.  I found myself wanting and needing God.  I found people around me doubting me and asking a lot of questions I couldn't quite answer.

Case in point-at a friends house.  

Friend: "Does (your husband) go to church with you?"
Me: "No."
Friend; "Who goes with you?"
Me: "(my son)."
Friend: "Doesn't it bother you that your husband doesn't go to church with you? I mean I wouldn't want to go to church if my husband didn't."
Me: "I don't go for him. I go for God."

See.  Subtle life changes; in the way I think, feel, act.  You can't plan for that, but God can.  I am lucky enough that I am so passionate about my God that my husband supports me and my son, even though he is a non-believer (by the way can a sister get a prayer for her husband)?  I believe we are responsible for our own salvation.  I love my man but it's not my plan.  It's God's.  And He's not ready to let my husband be part of my spiritual journey yet.  

I still have plans, and dreams, and wishes.  I have goals.  I also have God.  And I don't have to worry about what obstacles I face or what comes next.  Because God is the ultimate planner of my life.  

Are you in need of an ultimate planner?  Take out your planner or your list of goals.  Pencil him in.  Better yet, make it a PERMANENT marker kind of appointment and let God make plans for you. You can't be your own planner, because God plans for you.  It's not about MY aspirations, dreams, goals...it's about God's plans for ME AND YOU.

How wonderful is it that we don't have control over everything?  What a relief!  Oh and that anxiety disorder?  HEALED! Amen!

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope, In those days when you pray, I will listen.If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.

Jeremiah 29:11-13